Writer Sibylla Nash says, 'You have to believe in yourself. Period.'
The author and poet discusses the power of resistance, the antihero, and what influences her work in progress, 'I’m Not for Public Consumption.'
You know that feeling when you dive head first into an exciting project? Adrenaline kicks in and pride electrifies your mood. (Hello, this newsletter!) But somewhere along the way self-doubt nibbles at the back of your brain. (Who on earth would read this?) Perhaps, someone in your circle picks apart your new venture. (Why haven’t my friends subscribed?) Soon, that bulldozer of anxiety destroys your dreams. (What am I doing????) I’d like to say that the more experience you have, the easier it is to stop that cycle in its tracks. But that’s just not true. Most of us will always have to contend with imposter syndrome.
Los Angeles-based writer Sibylla Nash knows this feeling all too well. Once upon time, she started blogging before it was cool, but a curt comment from a “friend” led her to give up the venture. Since then, Nash has learned from her mistakes. In today’s newsletter, she shares that wisdom AND gives us an audio preview of her latest poem, “I’m Not for Public Consumption.”
This interview has been lightly edited for clarity.
Kaitlyn: I’m thrilled we finally got to connect. Let’s jump into it. Why’d you want to be a writer?
Sibylla: I love storytelling! I was a bookworm as a kid, and being able to create my own stories is my way of making sense of the world.
K: You’re not the first person to tell me you jumped into writing because it’s cathartic. I love that this art form speaks to so many people. Speaking of sharing your thoughts with the world, I know you’ve got something you want to share with my subscribers.
S: Yes! Here’s a voice memo of a work in progress. It’s called “I’m Not for Public Consumption.”
I recognize the irony in the piece because as artists, we have to put our work and ourselves out there. But it was born out of my frustration of seeing headline after headline about female stars who were photographed existing in the world and how they look so “unrecognizable.” And she’s 50. Of course, she’s going to look different from when she was 20.
Like what you heard? Restack this or tell us in the comments.
K: Oh, that was great. Thank you for sharing. In this sample, you recite:
define myself, by myself/be happy with myself, as myself/without any assist
What advice do you have for someone wanting to do things on their own terms?
S: Ignore what others say. People are always going to have opinions about what you do, and while they can be well-intentioned, they’re not always helpful. If you want to do something and you feel passionate about it, go for it.
I think sometimes we compromise ourselves to be able to fit into the box people believe we should fit into, or we’re taking into account what others will think. We give others way too much credit, and oftentimes, we don’t give ourselves enough. If you want to stay true to yourself, you have to believe in yourself. Period.
K: Goodbye, self-doubt. Hello, self-confidence! It sounds like you have experience in this area. Can you tell me what happened? Did you mistakenly let someone else influence your actions?
S: Let’s see, this mistake would fall under the category of listening to others. Back in 2003 and 2004, I was sending out newsletters. It was still the semi-early days of the internet. I was a mommy blogger before it was really a thing. A friend of mine, who was on my mailing list, made a dismissive remark about my emails, and it really hurt my feelings. I eventually stopped sending them out. As an early adapter, who knows how much of an audience I could have grown had I stuck with it. But I let someone else’s remarks plant the seeds of doubt in my ability.
And honestly, what’s the biggest mistake that cost me the most money? This one.
What do both my mistakes have in common? Friends. Be choosy about the company you keep.
K: Mm-hmm. So clearly, you’ve had at least one person act judgy toward you. In keeping with the newsletter’s theme, have you ever been told you have a “bad attitude” before?
S: It’s funny; I don’t believe a woman has ever told me that I have a “bad attitude.” It’s always the men, and it’s always when I’m not smiling enough, or when I’ve dared to disagree with something they’ve said. It always felt like a form of control to make me feel bad about speaking up.
K: This is my shocked face. Just kidding. Any advice for dealing with these toxic people and situations?
S: We all know those people. They’re not happy until everyone’s unhappy. I say, don’t take it personally and keep doing what you’re doing. Toxic people want to drag everybody into their cloud of unhappiness. Resist.
K: #Resist. Ok, let’s discuss something lighter. What feeds you creatively right now? What are you reading, watching and/or listening to lately?
S: I enjoy listening to Les Brown, who’s a motivational speaker. I’ll go on Spotify and just listen to their podcast playlists.
One of my favorite artists is H.E.R. I love her music.
I’m also a news junkie. First thing in the morning, I’ll going through Apple News to read what’s happening in the world.
K: Yay for media literacy! What else do you like to do? Do you have a favorite television show, movie, book, or song of the month?
S: Lately, my daughter and I have been Facetiming and watching “Claim to Fame.” It’s a great guilty pleasure!
My favorite television series is “The Blacklist” though. I’ve watched it so many times, and I think part of the reason is because we all love an antihero—people who can say and do things that we can’t always say and do. They’re bad guys, but they have a moral code. I think there’s a fascination with characters like Raymond Reddington. These are people who can exist in life on their own terms, and do awful things, but have a charisma that makes you root for them all the same. Or, maybe I’m the only one who feels that way, but that’s my show.
K: I get it. Antiheroes are having a moment. I’d love to create my own delicious antihero one day. Before we wrap up, is there anything else readers should know?
S: People are going to try, but don’t let anyone steal your shine.
K: Thank you for the reminder about never letting someone dim your light.
Sibylla Nash’s work has appeared in various publications, including Midnight & Indigo, Parents, Lit Hub, Essence, and Vibe. She received her MFA in Creative Writing from Otis College of Art and Design and her BA in Journalism from the University of Southern California. Her upcoming children’s book, “Robin Hill School: Juneteenth,” will be published with Simon & Schuster in 2025. She is also the author of the novels “Bumped” and “DreamCity.”